Nayru's Wisdom

Saturday, October 04, 2008

New Blog ; 9:51 PM

All right, I'm going to change to a new blog. It will be at kanzy.livejournal.com Reasons for the switch will be posted there. I guess this blog has served me quite well as a place for me to pen my thoughts, rant, comment, etc over the past 2 years. Yea... wonder if i can move the archives over. Oh wells. Shrug

Monday, September 08, 2008

Mehh ; 11:07 PM

Wrote this in my diary on 31st August 2008:

"A 2-month writing hiatus..lol. Got back blocks, went through piano exam, blah blah. Nothing much to say.

But i read somewhere about what happens when a guy likes a girl. If he confesses, the girl can profess her feelings too then their relationship will start. But if she rejects then their friendship will likely be awkward and fizzle out. (Have seen real life examples of this) But then, he can choose not to confess and keep their friendship the way it is.

So that's the way it is. I value our friendship a lot and hold our friendship quite dear. I definitely would not want to see it fizzle out or anything of that sort. So... just remain quiet for now.

But, the thing is, I know I have very positive feelings for her, but are those feelings bf/gf one or a very good friend one? Sometimes I wonder myself... how do you differentiate between the 2?

And then again, I don't know whether she knows about this or not. Apparently, it is obvious enough that some not in the loop think that it is obvious. But I don't really understand why it is very obvious. It's not like I do a lot of public displays of love or anything. -.-

But if she did know, and isn't deliberately avoiding me or anything, that's good right? Or is it just because she has enough faith in our friendship to think that I wouldn't pull something stupid? Haiz... this is really confusing and retarded.

Anyway, recently retook MBTI test, and am fairly convinced that I'm ENTP (for now anyway). Was XXTJ (XX means too close to judge) when I took it in sec 3. But now my E is quite pronounced, about 70% or so. Changed from J to P.. more organised/planning to carefree and relaxing...hmm.. Always have been (probably always will be) a T. Though I guess sometimes I let my heart rule, my cognitive abilities are definitely much better than my feeling abilities. Intuitive/Sensing.. not sure about this one, but apparently I'm intuitive for now.

I would say that my personality is quite different from when I was in sec 3. But I know that quite a huge part of the change is because I wanted myself to be this way. Even now, I'm fairly certain that if I project a different image of my self to follow, my personality would gradually change towards that image. So...which is my real personality? The true me? Am I who I want to be? Or is there something underneath that? Ie, the me that is driving these wants...hmmm. Sounds like a cliche teenager identity crisis kind of thing... haha

But more or less, I guess I have a rough/vague idea of what I want in my life. My passion as my job, a nice family... blah blah. Haven't sorted out the details though... financial status,what job, where to live, etc. But I guess things will iron out along the way.

But anyway, I guess I can (and will) be who I WANT to be! :D"

Lol.. sounds a bit screwy at some parts. The first part is more typical emo/lovelorn thingum. ): Hope I get over that soon. I guess having taken MBTI i have a clearer idea of my personality, and know what things i can develop and what things to take note. Though i wonder, if i make these changes to my life because they tell me that I'm ENTP, what if i'm really not ENTP? Then these things may change me such that I really become ENTP, or what? Hm...

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Some lame quiz... ; 12:17 AM

1. Someone who seems to have a lot of close friends.

Any dota/LMC/sparker gang. Lol... All of us are close :D

2. Someone you've known for a long time.
ZK... unsurpassable ... 7th year le

3. Someone you'd like to trade places with.

her, i guess... just so i know what/how she thinks... ><"

4. Someone who seems likely to be a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

pohting? iono.. .she's the only person i can think of... but she seems a bit out of place here ><"

5. Someone who seems like a chatterbox.

jonlee

6. Someone who seems to have a lot of wild ideas / fantasies.

junnies...me sometimes

7. Someone who seems like they were popular at school.

jang, mogie

8. Someone you think you would have been close to if you went to school together.

jiamin (though we're now in the same sch) or nicole?

9. Someone you want to stay up all night talking to.

mass convo.. or her.. but i doubt she'll stay up all night =/

10. Someone who can look after children.

Niang. du-uh!

11. Someone who seems to fall in love a lot.

Lol... the person i got his quiz from?

12. A beauty.

beauty =/= pretty/chio right? So i'd say her again lor.

13. Someone who seems like a celebrity.

jang.. pres leh..

14. Somone who is girly / manly

Edward.. pumps iron and bakes...

15. Someone you want to dress up as the opposite gender.

alvin. omg tt wuld be funny.

16. Someone grown-up.

wei han

17. Someone childlike.

me XD

18. Someone who is like a princess / prince.

xiangquan... edward.. all the rich dudes

19. Someone who seems capable.

tt would be me. but on a serious note, i guess..all those capable ppl lor.. jiajun/weihan/etc etc

20. Someone who has a unique view on life.

uh..me. but i guess everyone..

21. Someone S-type.
jasmine/charlton

22. Someone M-type.

andy. definitely

23. Someone you think of as your boss.

sheena lol.

24. Someone who would kill you if you got on their bad side.

keeen/lc. they're too bitchy.

25. Someone who seems good at seduction.

eileen.. cough cough...

26. Someone you think you could seduce.

iono... mogie/alvin/kevin/hiippy (if i get really desperate)

27. Someone who loves with all their heart.

my mum... maybe me?

28. Someone you want to see in cosplay.

zk... that would be funny XD

29. Someone you seriously want to go on a date with.

lol.

30. A message to all the above people

Have fun. Chill more. Dun emo. I rock! (:

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Random Personality Test ; 11:32 PM

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I think some parts are quite true... Lol..

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Confidence ; 10:58 PM

"My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything - even if you have no clue what you're doing" -Jesscia Alba

Whoo! That sounds pretty right. After all, what other people see is the outside and they don't see what is inside. So looking confident pwns all. Yepp... gotta look confident for exams tomorrow. :D

Wish me luck! (:

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

<3 HCult! Frisbee Flying High! (: ; 10:50 PM

Saturday was the 4th Inter-JC Frisbee League, and I am proud to have participated in it as part of HCult TeamB - the Hammers! (:

The league was held at Teacher's Network at Grange Road, and the field sucks. Like seriously. Probably also due to the fact that it rained the night before, but the field was super super muddy. It's like after a match there will be a lot of mud stuck to your boots. And can almost mudskate on the field la. It's THAT muddy. ):

But anyway my team had 3 other teams in our group: RJ team A, AC team A and AC team C. Sad to say, we lost all 3 matches ): Got thrashed in two and lost by a slim margin to AC team A. But the 2 teams that we got thrashed by were both in the finalists, so I bet it's because they are pro and not we are noob. =P But it's quite obvious that in terms of skill and structure we weren't as good as our opponents (except perhaps AC team A). But that's ok cos this year is for gaining experience and to have FUN!

At the beginning I put Frisbee as a third priority in terms of CCA, and even though it still is (due to my prior promises to Guitar and OAC), I LOVE it a lot! And I totally don't regret joining it at all! There is something about teammates and team spirit in team games/sports that just cannot be replicated anywhere else. And I think Frisbee is really a sport where individual effort is quite useless and it really really takes a team to win. In basketball you can have some 30 point-monster to carry team and your team might win. In soccer you can have someone do some imba shit and score a winning goal.

But not in Frisbee. No matter how good you throw, how good you run, how good you are at cutting, how fast you run, how much you sky people, you still need your teammates to throw to you, you need teammates to receive your throws, you need teammates to pull defenders away, blah blah blah. The list goes on and on. Therefore, I really like Hammers! Some point along the way, there were times when I really felt that I was in a team, playing with a team of committed and fun individuals, working for each other towards something. Lol

So I would like to thank all the hammers: Jack, Huanzhi, Dayong, Lincoln, Marcus, Yu Zheng, Yi Ding, Ming Chong, Gu Chao, ZK, Lily, Xinmei, Jingyi, Pearlyn! Thank you all! <3!! I hope you all had as much fun as I had being a part of this team!

Hammers! <3!!

I really love Frisbee! It's really damn fun! I can honestly say that I look forward to all frisbee trainings! :D Sadly, tomorrow will be our last training with our J2 seniors, and our last training in quite a long time (promos coming). But I guess we will still randomly throw around the field or Central Plaza, because no matter what, we are still ONE HCultimate! =)

HCultimate! <3!!

Thank you all so much, guys! Disc in! :D

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Block Tests Reflections ; 10:49 PM

Before Blocks, I wrote in an unpublised (ie not posted on blog) diary entry that my goals for block test are these "4 As, 2 >90 percentile". Most people said 4 As quite impossible, but at that point in time I haven't gone through blocks yet, so I didn't know how hard it would be. And based on previous lecture test results, 4 As seemed attainable.

All told, I will say that 4As wasn't that unattainable. I guess I just underperformed a bit. Maths was quite a pleasant surprise, considering I had problems doing tutorials (some), and I got C for the lecture test. But after I did my test, I felt >90 marks was attainable, so in the end 83 was a bit of a disappointment. Guess I was quite careless and stuff la. And I did spend the most time revising maths (ie instead of just revising the day before, I actually also spent 1 or 2 days during the hols doing maths hol package! =D ) Oh wells. Got joint third in class for Maths and is one of my >90 percentile and double digit rank (99).

Got 84 raw score for Chem, which translates to 76%. Not bad, I guess, but could have been better with better time management. Oh well, at least the time management is tons better than my first lecture test. Allegedly top in class, which was quite a surprise for me considering there is an A*Star scholar in my class and a few rather zai PRCs. Some people don't believe that I only started studying the day before and spent total about 6 or 7 hours on Chem. But Chem should be my best subject, so I guess.. not bad la. Another >90% and double digit rank.

Econs was disappointing yet pleasantly surprising. At first I thought I got A, until I realised case study is 30. So in the end B. Which I thought was quite bad. Until I logged into ISP today and discovered that they moderated my B to an A, and I am ranked 25th (another >90 percentile) in the batch. Wow. Not bad, considering Econs has one of the most students. Lol. So I'm rather pleasantly surprised.

Err... GP got a B. Which isn't that good. But I stick to my belief that GP marks depends a lot on the strictness (or leniency for some people) of your GP tutor. And I believe that my GP tutor is really rather strict. Out of all the classes she teaches, she only gave like 1 or 2 As for essay (she told us that herself). And I got 31 for compre, which isnt good, is top in class. So in the end its a plain old B. Siigh.. havent gotten A for gp at all this year.

Physics was just plain disappointment. Granted, I stuck to my revision schedule of "study the day before", but I thought I should have gotten at least a D. Got 43 marks, which is S. Like wtf. Sigh. Moderated to a E, but doesnt change the fact that i got damn shitty marks. Like shit. Rather upset, so haven't really gone through the paper and see what's wrong yet. Sigh. But I guess I really haven't been paying much attention to physics, so I should really buck up? Crap crap crap.

Ok so overall i got 3As, 3 >90% and 1 HUGE disappointment. So i sort of achieved my goal, and I sort of didn't. Oh well. But I must say my first forage into block tests wasn't that bad, considering all the seniors' horror stories. And I expected to be proven that last minute studying doesnt work, as many lecturers have been fond of telling us since the start of the year. Guess it still works for some subjects... But physics... sigh

Oh wells, I guess the post might have been a bit braggish ><" but .... Im sorry... Anyway.. I guess EBAAA (or an unmoderated ABBAS) isnt that bad. Just that the scores could have been higher for most. Yea.

You Should Play the Piano

You are a true music aficionado who loves many musical style and eras.

You find music to be an escape. And you'd like to be relaxed and comfortable when you're making it.

You're very innovative, and you have a unique way of knowing what may sound beautiful.

There's a strong possibility that you could compose some of your own work songs quite easily.

While you have a lot of creative energy, you are also serious and conscientious.

Your musical talent needs time, practice, and lots of privacy to flourish.

Your dominant personality characteristic: your painstaking attention to detail

Your secondary personality characteristic: your natural tendency to be whimsical

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Lol. Guess I chose the right instrument to start with? I really like the piano, though. Just that sometimes I don't find the motivation to practice real hard ><"